Lesson #4: Rats are evil, and taking over Boston.
I know. I haven’t posted a new entry in months. True, no one was really looking out for my next post, if aware at all that previous posts existed. Yes, my next life lesson is about vile, disgusting rodents. This post will be short and sweet. And by sweet I mean vomit-inducing.
RATS. Not something I think about too often, until very recently. It’s kind of gross that they scurry around city streets, they love trash, whatever. NO. NOT WHATEVER. They no longer just scurry. They hunt. For humans.
Exhibit A: Someone I know was walking down the street to her apartment. Upon seeing a rat “scurry” by her, she said something to the likes of “ew” under her breath before it was out of sight, out of mind. But not for long. The creature sprung from the shadows with murderous rage and sank its teeth into my friend’s sandled foot, injecting her with pure hatred, evil, and possibly rabies. I repeat. A rat savagely BIT an innocent bypasser.
Exhibit B: A similar yet less tragic account. Another friend, again just walking down the street, observed one of the long-tailed beasts run right on top of her (shoe-protected) feet. Yep. Ran right on them. They have no fear.
Exhibit C: Another friend was practicing the most innocent of activities: sleep. He is awaken from his slumber when he feels something unusual in his covers. To his utter disgust: A RAT IS IN HIS BED. Disturbing the most private -and seemingly safest -spot in the house. RAT. IN. BED. PLOTTING. HOMICIDE.
It’s a ratpocalypse, folks. I suggest you prepare accordingly.
*Note: These stories are all true. Each human has survived with minimal injury and zero rabies.
PS: Don’t let rats like this fool you. It’s just a tactic used to lure you into their rat dens and then eat you (and the mini-bear).